Letter to Luce, my seven-year-old

“Seven na ko? Parang walang nagbago!”

“I’m seven? Looks like nothing changed!”

Nothing really changed, anak, iyakin ka pa rin! You’re still a cry-baby.

Seriously, though, I want you to know that you’ve certainly changed. A lot!

Seven years ago, you were born a month early. Your birthday would have been September 28. But like the child you’d eventually grow up to be, you were in a hurry, and showed signs that you have to be taken out from my tummy on August 25 instead. So, the doctors had to unzip my belly to take out my wee, wee, baby girl. Before three in the afternoon, the delivery nurse showed me God’s blessing to our family, a small package wrapped in green clothe, weighing just two kilos and measuring 43 centimeters – you, with eyes closed and lips puckered. You barely whimpered, I think, giving out just a kitty-like sound. Yet, you received an APGAR score of 9; that’s a high score for a premature baby like you!

Seven years later, you are still in a hurry. After we have set the date for your seventh birthday party, you want to chase the calendar dates forward. “Why weren’t I born in June?” you lamented when we were thinking up of games for your party. A few weeks later, you next exclaimed, “My birthday should have been in July!” when we were giving out the invitations. A couple of weeks before your party, when we were cutting up your horse banderitas, you declared, “August 1 is MY birthday!”

Now, we both know that’s MY birthday. But to appease your excitement, or perhaps, to further feed on the anticipation of your seventh birthday, your Tatta and I gave you your Percheron family. You wanted a horse for your birthday, we gave you three Percherons – a Daddy stallion, a Mommy mare, and a Luce-like foal. I know, I know, you wanted a REAL horse. But as I’ve told you countless times, we don’t have a REAL barn to place one in. Thus, small figurines would do for now, anak. At least, the Schleich catalogue states that: “To achieve the highest quality standards, the figurines are modeled true-to-nature and painted by hand.”

Yes, seven years down the road of your journey called life, you are still in a hurry. Nothing seemed to change.

But wait! A lot of things have actually changed since God gave us that particular green-wrapped package in 2003.

That wee baby who whimpered her way out of my tummy grew into a feisty girl who holds no qualms in voicing out her thoughts and opinions, the latter whether asked for or not. A few more years, and you would be proudly declaring, “I am a Filipino TOASTMASTER!” The kitty-like sound transformed into alley cat wails when you cry or complain, into lion growls when you assert yourself, into contented purrs when you successfully negotiate yourself into a winning argument. Not to mention your Cheshire cat grin when you get one over us. Nakaisa ka na naman! You certainly have the meeting of a toastmaster, not just from any other club, but from the Butter N Toast Toastmasters Club at that!

You have been showing a level of maturity which, I admit, I don’t recall to have shown when I myself was aged seven.

Remember when you asked me about the small laptop which you are supposed to receive when you turn seven? When I promised you THAT sometime in 2008, I never thought time would really fly so swiftly and your seventh birthday would land on us after what seemed to be just a few winks. I had to think up fast for a way out and I asked you, “Which do you want, a laptop or a party?” To which you gave me your reply, fast and firm, “Birthday party siyempre, para mas maraming gifts!”

Relieved of your choice, I next enticed you to help me prepare for your party, calling it your Horseplay. The two of us were in horse-mode for two months – thinking up of horse games, preparing horse decorations, putting some horse sense into our family and friends, reminding them to saddle up and giddy-up to your Horseplay. In the process, you realized what fun it would be to celebrate your birthday, not on your lonesome with a laptop, but amidst the warm collective love from our family and friends. Afterall, you are not just the child of your Tatta and me. You are ALSO the child of Nanang and Owwo, of Nanay, of Lola Abat Ganda, of Lola Menea, of Lola Elmy, of Lolo Jerry, of ALL your other lolos and lolas, aunties and uncles, titos and titas, cousins, teachers, friends.

At your Horseplay, you heard the wishes from several of your Horsewhisperers, some of our elders sharing their thoughts in life, that these may guide you as you walk, trot, canter, and gallop into seven and seventy more years of life full of love, laughter, and lightness of being. You were advised to aim for the ideal as you appreciate the beauty of a unicorn, a horse so mythical yet real in the world of a child like you. You were reminded, after you have galloped so many years, to look back to that day, to thank God for all the people who have come to give you their blessings.

But today, anak, I thank God for the special blessing He gave us seven years ago and whose wonders He continues to unfold before us.

You have brought change into our lives, anak. You may be a fledgling foal, but it is you who enlightened the lives of your Horsewhisperers. While before we lacked energy, you brought bounce into our bodies. While before we lacked joy, you brought happiness into our hearts. While before we lacked love, you brought spirit into our souls.

Cheers to you, Luce, for at age seven, you have become our family’s foremost toastmaster – leading us towards positive change, providing voice to our inner feelings, and ensuring that our family’s future will indeed be bright!

Seven ka na, anak. Marami nang nagbago – sa iyo, at lalo na, sa aming lahat! We have all changed!

Basic Speech No. 6: Vocal Variety

Delivered before the Butter N Toast Toastmasters Club on 23 September 2010

Morning Mayhem

KRI-I-I-ING!

Mornings, especially weekday schoolday mornings, definitely exemplify rousing moments. That hopefully-brief time of waking someone up can actually be an unforgettable bonding moment between a mother and her child.

Let me share with you my morning moments with my own mother, before and after the Philippines became the SMS capital of the world.

Twenty or so years ago, when I entered university, the usual mornings for me and my sister, Liv, would start with ... “Faye! Liv! Wake up!” Mommy would have been awake for half an hour, preparing our breakfast and packed lunch downstairs. Meanwhile, upstairs, there would have been me and Liv, still in dreamland after the first call. At that time, a snooze still meant “to take a nap.” Mommy would then belt out her second call, “Faye! Liv! You’d be late!” Lazy stirrings from Liv and me would then follow, with one of us urging the other to get up and be the first to take a bath. Seeing none of her daughters descend the stairs, Mommy would then let out her warning, “Faye! Liv!” And that would be enough to rouse us, indeed!

Ten years later, our mornings would not have the same vocalization from Mommy, but the storyline remains the same. She would have been downstairs, with breakfast prepared. Liv and I would have been upstairs, with our dreams. Then...toot...toot or maybe ting-a-ning-ning-ning. We’d stretch our arms to reach under our pillows, slowly unfold our eyelids, click a button, then sleepily read...”Get up so you’d have time to eat breakfast.” A sigh emanates from our lips. We close our eyes. At this era of cellphones, a snooze already meant “five minutes after your alarm went off the first time.” Mommy would then send her second message, “Get up for breakfast.” Another sigh and we stare out at nothing, eyes glassy from sleep. Toot...toot! Ting-a-ning-ning-ning! New message: Mommy – “Get up.” And as ten years before, that would be enough to rouse us, really!

Another ten years later, I am now having my own morning moments with my own daughter, Luce! Since we live in a bungalow, I could easily reach her sleeping self, shake her shoulder, and start our own morning ritual, “Wakey, wakey, baby! Time to get up!” No movement. I’d then follow this up with “Stretch your arms! Stretch your fingers! Stretch your eyelids!” A little movement here, a little movement there. Since Luce owns no mobile phone yet, I would still vocalize my final message, “Better get up so you won’t rush with breakfast!” Then she would be roused, finally!

Like my mother before me, and perhaps her own mother before her, I am verbalizing my mother’s own words. My present-day morning moments, with me now taking the mother role, make me appreciate all the rousing made by Mommy all those mornings past.

My mother has been an effective rousing catalyst in my life.

In addition to waking me up in the morning, Mommy also guided my eyes to view the world from the perspective of gender equality. As I enrolled in gender and development courses, I got to appreciate her more, to better understand our own little world. Ours may not have been perfect, but Mommy showed me the importance of women being independent in all aspects of life.

Aside from having me get off bed every morning, Mommy also inspired me to act and develop my own individuality. As I started working, I got to realize the difficulties she herself must have encountered. Mommy became my model of a working woman.

With all her urgings for me to eat breakfast, Mommy also motivated me to nourish my soul with the love of my family. As I am now a wife and a mother like her, I get to grasp the significance of feeding the body, feeding the soul. Mommy is right. And I am now passing that knowledge to my own daughter, though she may be too young to fully comprehend.

Mothers know best. Sometimes we, as children, fight this natural flow of things. We want to be anybody but our mother. We want to be different. We want to stand at the opposite pole of the spectrum.

Yet in the end, beyond the morning mayhem, afternoon angst, and evening nightmares, we are roused by the realization that our mothers love us and want only the best for us. Do you agree?

From the youth of long ago to the individuals that we are now, weren’t we roused by our mothers to go the distance, to raise the bar, to rise to greater heights? I was. I am.

Kri-i-i-ing! Toot...toot! Ting-a-ning-ning-ning!

Tomorrow morning, after waking up, may the first text message you send out be to your mother. Mine would say, “Hi, Mommy, good morning! Let’s meet up!”

- Basic Speech No 5, Your Body Speaks
Delivered before the Butter N Toast Toastmasters Club on 12 August 2010

The June Bride and other stories of Tatang Louy

Vente-otso! Nagasat nga aldaw dayta!

Twenty-eight! That’s a lucky day!

I had heard these words tens of times, perhaps a hundred – each time when my grandfather embarked on his journey back in time, back to the years when he was young, much younger than his 70, 80, 90 years, his actual age depending on the instance when he would enchant me with his stories.

I am the eldest grandchild. I grew up in Ilocos with my grandparents, Tatang Louy and Nanang Atting.

Tatang planted the seeds of storytelling in my being – introducing me to the world of his youth, widening my imagination, urging me to enjoy my own life – so that someday, I will have my own stories to share.

But for tonight, I will share with you some of the stories of my Tatang Louy.

On top of the list would be on that particular day in 1933 when it showered in Vigan.

It was June 28; yes, the lucky day! Tatang Louy said that the number eight signifies good luck, for the last stroke goes up. Thus, he set his wedding date on a day that ends in eight. Tatang and Nanang felt doubly happy, for on the day they became one, the heaven opened its gates to shower on them. A shower, Tatang said, meant blessing from heaven. It may have rained in their parade, Tatang and Nanang may have gotten slightly wet from the brief shower; but this just whet their appetite to build a happy life together.

There was Nanang Atting, the June Bride, too shy to let Tatang have her picture taken even for posterity. There was Tatang Louy, the dashing groom, hopeful that luck and divine blessings will help strengthen the family they are to build in the next decades.

Two Mondays ago, they would have been married for 77 years. Who would have thought that a shy girl from the provincial village of Camangaan will end up being happily married for decades to a poor-boy-turned-debonair-young-man who left his equally provincial village of Naguilian for the pineapple plantations of Hawaii and busy streets of Chicago?

My second story would give you a glimpse on what happened months before that lucky and blessed day.

It was November 1932. A decade or so before, Tatang boarded a ship to Hawaii using his uncle’s cedula, for he was too poor to pay for his own. For the next ten years, he had his share of being a waterboy in Hawaii, an unfocused man in the mainland, until becoming a well-appreciated houseboy in Chicago. A thousand dollars richer after, Tatang decided to come home, for good. And his path crossed with that of Nanang, a neighbor whom he hardly noticed in the 1920s, she being 5 years his junior. Using Nanang’s brother as ambassador of his love, Tatang started to write letters to Nanang. The courtship started with a formal letter addressed to Miss Fama, followed by one for Mr. Quitevis; progressing to one for Patring, followed by another for Louy; and further progressing to My Dear Patring, followed by My Dear Louy.

There was Tatang, now a cosmopolitan bachelor with the confident airs of a landing, someone who landed on the pier from an international ship. There was Nanang, still the village girl whose farthest place she traveled to was Mindanao, who initially resisted Tatang’s charms but eventually fell for it.

Tomorrow, I will air out their love letters. More than any material things, I treasure these as part of my memories of my dear Tatang Louy and my dear Nanang Atting.

My last story would be a memory of a memory, as I remember how Tatang remembered Nanang.

It was February 1985. Tatang and Nanang had been married for more than 51 years. I had been living with them for little over ten years. Tatang was on one of his business trips to Pangasinan. Nanang and I were left behind in Ilocos. With diabetes already affecting her health, Nanang had an episode of low blood pressure, and we had to rush her to the hospital. Two days after Valentine’s day, Nanang left us, without Tatang by her side.

There was Tatang, arriving hours after Nanang breathed her last. He kept on saying that day, and on lonely days in the next twelve years, that Nanang slipped away without even saying goodbye. Naglibas. Her soul left her body, and she left us just like that. There was Nanang, no longer with us yet will always be in our hearts.

Tonight, I remember Tatang and Nanang once more. By sharing their stories, as told to me by Tatang those countless nights we had together, I am with them again. It is my hope that the seeds of storytelling planted by Tatang in my being will continue to bloom into a passion for learning and for sharing the lessons in life.

Luck in numbers, luck in showers. Love for our dear ones, those with us and those long gone. Lust for learning, with the taste of the BnT life.

If Tatang Louy would have been alive today, he would have exclaimed, “Otso! Nagasat nga aldaw tatta!”

Eight! Today’s a lucky day!

The future is bright at Butter N Toast!

- Basic Speech No. 4: How to say it
Presented at a Butter N Toast Toastmasters Club session on 8 July 2010

Save a peso, gain a future

A centavo saved is a peso gained.

Who among you had a piggy bank in your youth, from which you probably attempted to retrieve a coin or two on several occasions? Who had a Kiddie Account in your parents’ banks, for the free stickers and pencils if not the minimal interest? Who moved on to more complex financial portfolios like regular savings accounts, time deposits, stock options?

Who knows the moral of the story of “The Ant and the Grasshopper”? Yes, save for the rainy days. (All summer, the ant stored food while the grasshopper played. Come winter, the ant had lots of food while the grasshopper starved.) What are the rainy days for which we now save? Our children’s education, that dream vacation, our own house, that incredible car, our own business venture, our retirement years, what else?

Yes, saving can be considered the IN thing, the quest to aim for, the right thing to do if we want to gain something.

Tonight, I share with you a saving technique with an agency usually associated with housing. For the Pag-IBIG Fund is not just the Filipino workers’ partner in housing finance, it is also our partner in provident savings.

WHAT is Pag-IBIG Fund? When it was created 29 years ago, the Home Development Mutual Fund or Pag-IBIG Fund built a provident fund that encouraged the Filipino workers to save a few pesos of their monthly salary, the accumulated savings to be withdrawn upon maturity. Through the years, the Pag-IBIG Fund has grown from a workers’ provident fund to the country’s premier provider of housing finance. Thus, if we are not housing loan borrowers, we may likely complain of our Pag-IBIG deduction upon seeing our payslip. Why do I have to shell-out P100 for my Pag-IBIG contribution, when I don’t even plan on buying a house, you might say. I could have used those hundred pesos for other things, you might even add. But then, it is good to save with Pag-IBIG.

HOW do we save with Pag-IBIG Fund? Those hundred pesos from your salary coupled with another hundred pesos from your employer comprise your monthly contribution. And your monthly contributions are added up to become your total accumulated value or TAV. What’s more, at the end of the year, your TAV is further fattened-up by the annual dividend proportionately credited by the Pag-IBIG Fund to its members’ TAV.

WHY save with Pag-IBIG Fund? When we hear the good news that the Pag-IBIG Fund earns billions a year, we actually experience this good news in the form of dividends. Although it is mandated to set aside annually no less than 70% of its net income as dividends, in 2009 the Pag-IBIG Fund declared P8.5 Billion in dividends, representing 71% of its net income for that year.

Now, you may ask, What do I need my Pag-IBIG Fund TAV for? You might even strongly opine, It doesn’t amount to any substantial value, with two hundred pesos a month, twenty-four hundred pesos a year plus dividend!

I next offer you three ways of looking at your Pag-IBIG contributions, for you to appreciate your TAV all the more.

First, your TAV could be your NEST EGG, if you are an employee.

Think about it, we don’t pay much attention to the hundred pesos deducted from our salary, since we focus our eyes on the net pay. Now, what if we double our contribution, add another hundred or more? Our TAV will then increase double or more, depending on how much we increased our contribution. An additional hundred pesos or more equates to just a combo meal or a restaurant entree. We will hardly feel the added deduction. But we will certainly feel the added gains when we withdraw our TAV upon maturity.

Your TAV fills your wallet when you retire.

Second, your TAV could be your RETIREMENT PACKAGE for your employees, if you are an employer.

Think about it, if you are in business, you likely pay more attention on cutting costs than adding value to your personnel. Now, if you increase your employer counterpart to your employees’ Pag-IBIG contribution to more than the mandated hundred pesos, you will be sending a good message to your workforce. As a result of matching their increased monthly contribution, your employees’ TAV subsequently increases, providing them an ample fund for their retirement years.

Your employees’ TAV will fill their wallet when they retire, and they will surely thank you for their high TAV.

Third, your TAV could be your INVESTMENT, if you are a self-employed professional.

Think about it, you don’t consider Pag-IBIG Fund unless you plan on buying a house. Now, if you’re self-employed, either with your own small enterprise or with your practice as a professional, I invite you to look at Pag-IBIG Fund in a new way. Registering with Pag-IBIG Fund and growing your TAV could be an investment opportunity where you can place a part of your income in sales or professional fees into the Fund, a mutual fund. Remember, your TAV earns dividends each year, dividends which have been increasing every year since Pag-IBIG Fund is performing well.

Your TAV fills your wallet when you harvest the rewards of your passive income.

I now invite you to start looking at the other face of Pag-IBIG Fund, its provident savings feature. The Pag-IBIG Fund remains your partner, both in realizing your dream of homeownership and in saving for a stable future.

By adding a few pesos to your Pag-IBIG Fund TAV, you gain a brighter future. Let Pag-IBIG Fund be your piggy bank in your adulthood. Save up, save now, and save with Pag-IBIG Fund!

- Basic Speech No. 3: Get to the point
Presented at a Butter N Toast Toastmasters Club session on 11 March 2010